My friend, now memory...

 

 

 

"You get use to someone

—start to like them, even—

and they leave. In the end, everyone leaves.”

 

 

 

 

I lost you today, my friend.....I cried three times, I ll probably cry again. You were not part of my life right now, the way people use this expression, but we used to have lunch breaks together, and coffee breaks, and tea breaks....And we told each other things good friends do. And I got to miss that, long before this morning, long before finding out that you 've been gone, in fact for almost six weeks....I knew back than: you were a king person, you d rather keep quiet than say something you did not feel. My kind of person. I used to laugh too easily and too loudly. It took one look from you at times to temper me, it made me think "there s wisdom I do not know beneath that look "   And did not  know I ll miss it  And now I know ....too soon. I miss us having those talks, and our breaks together.  how could have I known ? I only knew we were having fun, when we were actually making memories.....

 

 

I wonder if people realize one thing ...that nobody wants to remember nobody for the bad they did in life...People will talk about what good you did: you cared, you shared, you loved. Its your kindness that I miss now, its kindness that the whole world need more of. I thought all day: where s fairness in you being gone? there isn't ....Its only up there, “In the sky, that there are always answers and explanations for everything: every pain, every suffering, joy and confusion.” we down here, we cry, we fight, we praise, and we die..... if what my mum says its true, that death takes the good ones first, maybe that's why you left.... And the emptiness you left behind, its almost tangible... You must have have left a piece of you in every person you have met along the way, and now you re dearly missed.....  

 

“There's just something obvious about emptiness, even when I try to convince myself otherwise."

 I wish I insisted more at seeing you again, and listened to that voice inside that told me something is wrong, you avoid me because you re not well. And no, I don't blame you for that, I blame myself for accepting your avoidance too easily. Knowing you might leave me soon, why did I do that?  Because being busy is never enough reason.

 

I lost you today my friend. "But nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it"  Rest in peace.  You are remembered    

 

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left.