This morning I got to think about friends… I have a few… how good
and genuine friends they are to me, only God knows. I personally like them all
and don't make much difference. My feelings are real and I m open to a laugh
with each and all of them. And I can honestly say I don't remember to have once
given a consciously bad intentioned advice. I advise my friend as I feel would
be good for me in the situation. And I m thinking of their good, not what they
might want to hear. This is what I call good friendship. The girls that I go out with ,I like them all, to have around at various occasions, I would not meet them if I didn't. Most I know since I m here in Ireland
I had periods of time when I felt I was living more for my
friends than for me, maybe because I wasn't in a relationship? As I believe in :If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night, your friends. But when I am in a relationship, I still find time for friends. Over the years I had fav friends, and favs did change, I admit, but they remained close to my heart, regardless. They seemed to me to hold onto a secret, if not the
same one. A secret for happiness. Now I conclude that happiness was them. Having them around or near when I needed it.
One good friend wished me that I m more mysterious and get a good man for myself.
Sometimes I do wonder if the first part of her wish conditions the second, as
she thinks. I know I am what today is called, too honest and transparent, and both make me vulnerable. But I choose to be honest and transparent anyway. I do agree I m easy to read. But I m also hard to read. Because
when people see the real you, they still try to read something thats not there
in what they see, as they somehow assume there should be. In a letter I sent to
a friend recently I was complaining over the fact that in a world full of
thieves, we simply don't believe in honesty anymore. How sad is that! And if we
by accident get to come across honesty, we remain skeptical. Its true for you and
God forgive me, for me too.
As an Islamic benedictory prayer says- got this
right now out from one of books I m reading, so it’s not me, I m not SO smart : “ O Lord, grant that we perceive truth as true, and the good fortune to
follow it; and that we perceive falsehood as false, and the good fortune to
avoid it”. I hate pretentiousness. I believe in Socrates : The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. Pretend to care? Than care! Pretend to try? Try! Pretend to love? Love! Do all you say you are doing. Don't brag about it. That won't change what you are in fact doing, and what you in fact ARE, and people will eventually catch up with the real you. Do!
My ultimate advice to my dear friends being : be free!! Live ! So many people forget to live, they just exist! Follow your heart and go for what makes you happy!
In my case, I know is the curse that I have on me: a duality
within me, always questioning everything, and only mostly going for what my intuition
tells me, which by the way it must be God talking to me, as when I listen to, I
am right. We all need to be listening
more to our hearts, in these times full of bogus. Is the only
way to discover ourselves and the meaning of being here.
I m laughing a lot and I take it all with a pinch of salt. I laugh
at life. But the real me is sad.... Sad for all the things I did not do, all the
places I did not see, all the songs I did not hear... It just struck me: this
book I want to write, may long wait to be finished… thought it will be easy, but no, anything
worthwhile – as I would like my book to be- takes time and effort. And I m
restless this morning, wish I wrote more, but I have to get out of the house,
for some reason…be back soon xoxo
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