youth that slips away, loves that comes and go,in time that we don't own....

minutes in Callela

The next few days were all lazy in the sun, with my book and my sunglasses. I was tempted at times to make friends, but than again, I did not. I was content in my loneliness.  I did have a couple of sleepless nights, worrying ( over Brandon, over things I cannot change), or missing baby mine. 

Bought a beach towel with "I love Espana" , to remind me of these days. All by myself, no friends, no company, no relatives, no child, just me and my thoughts and the sun. Ah, really a luxury I might not have again.  

One of these days, my mood got ruined by a phone call from Italy.  There s been a fight between my mum and one of her sisters. And I was sad, apparently Brandon was rude with the one of my aunties, oh God, mum has something to do with this for sure. Brandon is well behaved,there must be a reasonable explanation to all this.  I miss Brandon so much , and I miss our "little talks" when I explain to him this or that, and he asks more, and he s getting so big and mature and understanding. He ll be a great man, he ll make me proud. As about my time off, they can all think what they want about me, is my life and I don't own any explanations. 

Some other day  I met this lovely Irish couple from Waterford, with their two beautiful boys, one of which was only 15 months and had such a playful and charming character. I got to actually talk with them about my boy, and that somehow helped me deal with missing him. 

looking at the sea....so much like my life  Every wave is a heartbeat, and what may seem peaceful on surface, is tumultuous in depth...I am going to crave the salty air, caressed by the breeze , dreaming still of beauty, youth that slips away , loves that come and go,the time that we don t own....

Spend some time looking for a t shirt my brother wanted, and realized most of the shop owners would tell you anything just to make a sale, not caring for what you re looking for or need. The good part is you can bargain, and don't I love that :)  Got myself sunglasses, cause I ll sure need them in Dublin ha ha I won't, but I love getting a new pair every summer. I could not bargain with them, 'cause I m a snob, I buy brands when it comes to sunglasses and accessories. 

One night the owner of the motel prepared homemade paella just for me. Him and his girlfriend were really nice persons, we did talked and laughed everyday, we d chat over coffee in the morning than enjoyed sangria in the evening. I did feel they were so curious over why am I alone, but they knew how to not ask questions at the same time. 

Its weird how every time I do get away, I do end up missing Dublin. Like everybody else, I moan over the weather and so many other things, but Dublin is home for me and I got so attached to it. But at the same time, I tell Brandon that the world got so small, nothing like it was when I was a child. I left my country at twenty two. Twelve now, he's already seen a bunch of places. He is free to live or work or enjoy his life any place he chooses too. I would have never imagined this freedom when I was his age. All this may amaze me, but he s taking it all for granted, its his normality. I m happy for his freedom and I want him to be as free in spirit as in body. I wish he sees the world I never got to see.