A lifetime to mature... can I play right now ?

As I grow older (and by the way, we all are, no matter the age) I think about maturity more often. Desirable.  But also dreaded. Dreaded as a sign of old age, isn't it? I m growing old and thank God for it, as every new morning is a blessing. Taking a moment some mornings to smile and thank for the breath I take.

But as its said by others before me, maturity should not be assumed as a trait of old age ... Its got nothing to do with that ...much more with your ability to learn from whatever life throws at you and your ability to accept life for what it is, fair or not. I met young surprisingly mature and I met old annoyingly immature.
Some say that people do not change.....people that do not learn do not change   When learning happens, the results can be amazing    If you learn to see the good in any experience, to accept pain as  inevitable at times, to embrace your feelings and accept yourself and others, people do and will change     Sometimes for the worst, yes, as forgiveness is sometimes forgotten    But goodness and forgiveness can be learned too   It may sound silly, but we can all learn goodness and forgiveness simply by practicing them and giving them to others.  And so healing begins

as Helen Hayes says : Every human being on this earth is born with a tragedy, and it isn't original sin. He's born with the tragedy that he has to grow up. That he has to leave the nest, the security, and go out to do battle. He has to lose everything that is lovely and fight for a new loveliness of his own making, and it's a tragedy. A lot of people don't have the courage to do it



 .... I m not worried of getting old.  Because  simply my brain cannot conceive how old my body is.
 But i am worried of getting " mature".  I simply resent allowing my heart and my spirit to slow down .... Settle in routine , stop trying, stop searching , stop being amazed ... And the list of signs goes on ......You stop following your heart as much... Poor heart continues to show what you like and what it beats for ... But eventually gets numb and gives up ... You get better at pretending : that you re fine, that you re happy , that this life is what you wanted to be ...
You play less .... You take less chances ..you.start taking life seriously, you settle down emotionally, act responsible and stop playing....
And than, every day a little more, you ignore your heart cries till it gets numb and gives up crying ...For when you feel you re out of words to describe your emotions .... Isn't it 'cause emotions are meant to be felt , and NOT spoken...think about it.


As for myself, I don't wish for maturity in the general sense. I d rather be a child in my old age.... Because ....Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.
Some day I sure will find my own definition of maturity....for the moment being, I like this one, as I feel I identify with it : maturity is when a person hurts you and you try to understand their situation rather than hurting them back   I have done it all my life. I don't have time to waste with revenge. I d rather, when I can, make time to try understand. A much better use of time. Revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind.
After all, age IS only a number. I am today, the youngest I ll ever be again. Why be sad?! I am too young to be sad!