up to the next ;)/summer of 2000

since than, more than six months passed...hot summer and I worked 12/24 hours shifts, wihch practically meant from 9 am till after midnight,getting home as late as 3am, than next day off....

I remember starting to complain about "getting out of shape".... I was joking with R that it was his fault, this was not supposed to happen so soon after getting married! Too young , and vain, to accept a belly!! I did not listen to my mother in law, when she told me: " your belly is hard, you see, right here (and she pointed the lower side beneath my belly button), you might be pregnant". But i rejected the idea, I was naive enough to believe it cannot be. My period was always irregular, so I thought there was a small chance to get pregnant. Naive and silly! 

How wrong I was ! When the doctor (she) saw me, exclaimed: "there s either something wrong with your stomach, or you re very pregnant!" And I was , indeed, 19 weeks far already! Oh, my! 

I was delighted, forgetting of all our plans, and when I got to work the morning after, the entire restaurant could hear me crying with joy that I was pregnant. Cause it did not register with me how hard would be for us to raise a third child. I knew R was happy too, but the clouded future ahead did not allow him to be too enthusiast about it. We ve heard something about the fact that having a baby born in Ireland would give us the parents the right to stay there. We had no idea about Irish way of life but we knew it could not be worse than home. Its sad: to be willing and anxious to leave your home, your family and friends, all behind, go chase a better life in a place you don't know a thing about. Never abroad before myself, but R knowingly would say: "if only we re together, have the baby and stick together, I d manage to live abroad, cause in a foreign country, the bread won't taste the same, the water won t as well"  How right he was! I couldn't understand all that at the time and I was only too happy to try to leave again. The baby growing inside me made me feel fearless and see it all in pink. I was working many hours, legs got so sore throughout the day, but I wasn't weak, and I didn't want to not try leave. 

more.... tomorrow ;)